Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
