Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
