Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
