the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
