that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
