Who did Billy Mays play for?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
