i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
