I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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