she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
