Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
True but thats because hes a fetus.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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