New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
