i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
