Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
