foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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