were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
