turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
