i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
