its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
