Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Drunk is not a location!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
