I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
