the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
