At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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