Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
