Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I supernannyed him into submission
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
