i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
