I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize