I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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