oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
