She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
