i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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