dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
