so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think people are normalizing furries
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
