thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
