it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
