You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
