She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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