Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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