that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
