She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
