I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
