I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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