My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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