So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
