I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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