every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
