I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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