you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
