i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize