I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I am naked and annoyed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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