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you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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