stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize