I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
