My nipple is on Facebook.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
