maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
