we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
