I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
