I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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