OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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