Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
