it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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