And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
