Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
