I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
